Reviewer’s Note: We recently received 4 new Star Trek toys to coincide with the release of the new Star Trek Movie: The U.S.S. Enterprise Transporter Room, The Starfleet Phaser, The Starfeet Communicator and The Starfleet Tricorder from Playmates Toys. Rather than reviewing each toy individually, we’ve decided to group the toys into two categories, action figure play-set (Transporter Room) and away mission accoutrements (Communicator, Phaser, Tricorder), in order to focus our reviews.

In this review, we’ll be looking at the First Step of an away mission; ‘getting off the ship.’ In other words, we’ll be looking at The U.S.S. Enterprise Transporter Room. Now I must admit that my wife, Tonya, and I have been a little neglectful in teaching our boys the finer points of Gene Roddenberry’s 23rd century SciFi opus, Star Trek. Instead, they’ve been a little more focused on Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Harry Potter, so it didn’t surprise me when I opened the box containing The U.S.S. Enterprise Transporter Room and Caleb (age 5) said, “What’s that?” And Nikolai (age 7) responded, “The box says, ‘Enterprise Transporter Room,’” to which Caleb countered, “What’s that?”

To The Transporter Room

I could see that I had my work cut out for me. So as I opened the box, I was inundated with questions from my offspring, which also gave me an opportunity to list-off the contents of the box. “What’s that?” That mat unrolls to reveal the floor of the Transporter Room. “What’s that?” That is the Transporter Pad. “What’s that?” That is the Transporter Tube. “Who’s that?” That is an action figure of Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott or “Scotty.” He’s played by Simon Pegg in the movie, however the action figure doesn’t look very much like Simon Pegg. “What’s that?” That’s Scotty’s Phaser, it goes in his belt. “What’s that?” That is the Transporter Desk Console. “What’s that?” C’mon guys, that’s a chair. And this here is the back wall to the Transporter Room, and this thing here, this is the ceiling to the Transporter Room. Anything else?!? “Yeah, what’s that?” This Blue Thing here? Why that is the… Hang on a second, what is that blue thing for? Oh I see, it’s the stand for the action figure, it’s called a Base Piece. Yeah, that there is the Base Piece.

Once the Enterprise Transporter Room is assembled, it’s ‘play’ is very straight forward, as long as, and this is very important, as long as you remember to slide the switch on the back of the Transporter Tube from DEMO mode to ON mode, otherwise your transporting experiences are going to be severely lacking, hence the boys getting bored after the first 10 minutes when we neglected to flip the switch.

Scotty, Energize

Cycling through the Transporting Process is as follows, Step 1: Place Action Figure on the Base Piece on the far right Transporter Pad. Step 2: Press the Starfleet Insignia button on top of the Transporter Tube to turn on the light and then slide the tube through the Transporter Room Ceiling and over the Action Figure. See the ‘Ready and Able’ Starfleet Action Figure standing eagerly in the blue hue light of the Transporter Tube awaiting transport. Step 3: Press either the Starfleet Insignia button or the button on the Transporter Desk Console to begin the Transportation Process. Hear cool sound effects from the movie and watch the light show. Step 4: Watch as the Starfleet Action Figure De-Materializes… or disappears. Step 5: Slide Transporter Tube off the Transporter Pad and hand carry it to the 'planet surface'. Step 6: Stand Transporter Tube upright on 'planet surface' and press Starfleet Insignia once again to Re-Materialize the Starfleet Action Figure. Step 7: Press release buttons on both sides of the Transporter Tube to release the Starfleet Action Figure and lift the Transporter Tube up. And there you have it, a ‘Ready and Able’ Starfleet Action Figure 'planet-side'.

Scotty, Beam Us Up

As we played with this toy, I noticed a few things about it that made game play for me rather annoying; it all centered around the responsiveness of the buttons. Sometimes I had to jiggle the buttons on the Transporter Desk Console to get them to work, this also meant making sure that the Transporter Tube was seated on the Transporter Pad correctly. In addition, the Starfleet Action Figure release buttons on the sides of the Transporter Tube never really worked right, so we always had to tip the Transporter Tube on it’s side and pull the Starfleet Action Figure out by his feet… Not so much ‘Ready’ or ‘Able.’ Other than that, the Enterprise Transporter Room seemed rather well constructed and the Scotty Starfleet Action Figure was very articulate, however I could see him losing a limb if severely mishandled. On a slightly silly note, I did find it rather strange to transport the Transporter Tube by hand. In fact on one Away Mission I called for Tonya’s attention and said, “Quick, what does this remind you of?” And I proceeded to spin the Transporter Tube with my hands and made a slow-repeating-grinding-‘house keys scrapping over piano wire’-shhhhh-sound like the T.A.R.D.I.S.

Overall Impression

So I can harp some more on the silliness of the 'hand-transport' Transporter Tube, but that’s not important. What is important is that Nikolai and Caleb really liked The U.S.S. Enterprise Transporter Room. It reproduced cool sound effects from the movie and through lighting effects and mirrors, made the Starfleet Action Figure appear to disappear and then reappear. So with that in mind, Nikolai has decided to give The U.S.S. Enterprise Transporter Room 100 Thumbs-Up out of 100 and Caleb is giving it 10 out of 10 Stars. As for me, I’m giving the toy 6.5 Dancing Elephants out of 8 because it does have a certain ‘coolness’ factor and because I was able to make Tonya chuckle with my nod to Doctor Who.

Parting Thoughts

Caleb: What’s a transporter?
Nikolai: It’s a way of transporting down to a planet without dying.