Sire,

As your faithful and humble servant, I have carried out your orders and gone forth to examine the training simulation that you caused to be made for your nobles. The wily wizards of code have indeed been hard at work doing your bidding, but I fear that the result may not entirely meet your requirements.

They have dubbed the resulting game [Puzzle Kingdoms] and have made it available in a handheld variety (DS) and a sort which is displayed via a humming box upon a magic mirror (Wii). Yet, in either case, the simulation is much the same.

It opens with a voice (yours perhaps?) telling of a harsh winter followed by an even harsher summer which leads to a drought and famine and death upon the land. This doesn’t appear to make much difference to the game, though, as the player must traverse the country-side, amass armies, and defeat the enemy.

I should note that the level of customization is minimal, sire. Your Lords-in-training can select between a male or female avatar and the choice appears to be merely cosmetic.

Venturing forth (by way of a map screen) the players will encounter enemies they must defeat. They do this by virtue of a match-three game similar to bejeweled. I’ll grant that this game is more sophisticated as players must match special symbols to bring power to their warriors. Each move is followed by a counter-move from the game-controlled opponent. Good moves result in cascades of rewards as multiple stones align to give power. Poor moves create a favorable opportunity for the opponent. The careful Lord-in-training must learn to look ahead!

Yet, sire, I couldn’t help but feel that the code wizards have cheated somehow. It is as if the magic boxes (both the small hand-held version called the DS and the larger, whirring version called the Wii) can see into the future, examine the many potential moves, and select the one which gives the best cascade. This gift of prognostication makes the simulation difficult to defeat and causes a grave imbalance in the play.

More frustratingly, the wizards of code were careless in their craftsmanship on the hand-held version and the on-screen buttons are not properly aligned. Poking at them with the stylus sometimes fails to work, while poking below them activates the desired control. This was most annoying, but not nearly as annoying as when the game crashed on the DS and the infernal device had to be rebooted.

Did you not warn the wizards of code that you would be most displeased if they delivered a non-functional product?

You had intended this as a training simulation, and yet there is very little training within the game itself. The player is thrust into the world and provided with almost no guidance. Even a careful reading of the accompanying manual isn’t much help. How can you expect your Lords-in-training to learn if they aren’t actually trained?

Another lapse in the game is the dialogue. I mean really, does anyone in the kingdom talk as the characters do? It is fortunate that the story scenes (which consist of two characters exchanging voice bubbles) can be skipped entirely.

The graphic images are adequate, but not stunning. I should note that the text on the Wii version is so small that it will only be readable to those who have very large magic mirrors connected to their Wii boxes.

Other than the opening dialog, there is no voice-acting. The music is adequate, the sound-effects are sparse. In all, sire, the production on this feels ... well ... merely adequate.

Along the way there are more battles to be fought, territory to be claimed, and mini-games to be played. The mini-games are simple variations on the main stone-matching game and offer nothing new or exciting. They do offer the player an opportunity to gain more troops and heroes, collect spells and relics which make battles easier, or learn more about the plague upon the land.

Only the most dedicated of your trainees are likely to stick with this sire and I fear that the youngest of Knights may find the combat mechanic too frustrating. I would recommend that you pass by these games and train your young Lords the old-fashioned way; by sending them out to rescue damsels from dragons.