My name is Cheech and I am the school bus driiiiver...

I have a bias for quirky, non-violent PC games. Most new games seem to be variations on the alphabet soup of established formats; FPSs, RTSs, RPGs and MMORPGs with the occasional casual puzzle game thrown in for "variety". The odds of finding an innovative, non-violent game are about as good as finding a vegetarian meal at a Brazilian grill.

SCS Software's Bus Driver offered me some hope. The game's setting (a convincingly laid-out and highly varied urban environment) is familiar enough to gamers, but the objective (driving a bus route through different parts of the city) is not. Which of us hasn't sat on a bus ride and watched the driver while thinking, Hey! I could do that!

It might seem arrogant to think that you, a lowly motorist who barely passed high school driver's ed, could succeed at the highly complex task of driving a behemoth through crowded city streets. Except, in Bus Driver, you can do exactly that.

My name is Cheech and I am the city bus driiiiver...

From the main menu you are allowed to select missions. Each mission puts you in control of a different vehicle and gives you a different route and mission objective. It always comes down to the same thing; pick people up and drop them off.

With your mission selected you can set out on the open road...or at least the city streets. Your only viewpoint in the game is from above and behind the bus. Instead of feeling like you're driving, it feels like you're playing with the world's largest remote-control vehicle. Using the keyboard (or better yet a steering wheel/foot pedal controller) you pilot the bus toward your first stop. Helpful, illuminated arrows on the pavement guide you through the turns. A digital map points you toward your next destination and a mechanical
odometer gives you some idea of how far you have to go. The stop looms and glowing red lines tell you exactly where to pull up. You open the doors and your first set of passengers embark. Close the doors. Take off. Head for the next stop. Pull up. Open the doors. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

My name is Cheech and I am the ski bus driiiiiver...

Along the way you have to drive safely; stay in your lane, don't change lanes without signaling, obey the traffic lights, don't hit the trees or lampposts and whatever you do don't brake too hard. Doing things correctly increases your score, messing up decreases it. Hitting other cars is a big no-no score wise, but doesn't prevent you from continuing on your route. Ditto lampposts, trees, buildings and bus stops. Your digital bus is indestructible and the only penalties for poor driving are a decreased score and lost time on the route.

Your score, though, doesn't actually determine whether or not you move on. At the end of each mission you are assessed different points for each passenger you delivered, bonuses for timeliness and safety, and penalties for accidents and traffic violations. Unless you've gone out of your way to hit every tree, bush, lamppost and building you are likely to successfully pass the mission and move on.

In the name of variety, each mission uses a different bus in different conditions in a different part of the city. In this, the game succeeds. The weather and time of day do change the driving environment. The neighborhoods of the city are distinctly different from one another. The buses look different and, to a limited extent, handle differently. If you're looking to be a well-rounded bus driver, the game will offer you plenty of opportunities for personal growth.

My name is Cheech and I am the prison bus driiiiver...

That said, all of the missions come down to exactly the same profile; you can drive a school bus and deliver children to a sporting event, or a city bus and deliver workers to a factory, or a ski bus and deliver tourists to a resort, or a prison bus and deliver inmates to court. You have no opportunity for creativity or exploration. You could go off route and explore the city, but there's no incentive. In short order you find yourself feeling as I imagine a real bus driver must. Your job is to get safely to the next stop before the clock runs down.

There is one laudatory element to the game. The missions are organized into tiers of escalating difficulty. Each tier has six missions and to move the the next tier you must only complete a majority of the previous tier. So a difficult mission won't keep you from advancing in the game. This player-friendly model is a refreshing change from the usual designer-versus-player mentality and it's something that I'd personally like to see incorporated in more games.

My name is Kevin and I am a game revieweeeerrrr...

It's rare to find a quirky, non-violent PC game. Bus Driver is quirky. (Although, the way I drive it may not quite qualify as non-violent.) The unusual subject matter and simple control scheme might make it appealing to your young, wannabe driver, but the repetitive nature of the game play will likely keep it from being a hit. A driver's-eye view, more interesting road hazards, and some opportunity for creativity and exploration could take this mediocre title and turn it into something you'll want to catch.